10 Funny Student Press Headlines: Beer, Birds, Boobies, Bears, Horses, Cows & Nic Cage

My favorite, in The Pipe Dream: “5 Terrible People at the Library.”

Funny Student Press Headline #23: ‘Everyone Needs to Calm Down’

Student columnist says relax, while admitting “things haven’t been exactly puppy kisses and rainbows in America lately.”

Funny Student Press Headline #22: ‘Can the Economics Dept Stop Ruining My Life?’

The columnist lays out a range of gripes, from limited course offerings to possibly racist pre-req clearances.

Funny Student Press Headline #21: ‘Go the F*ck to Sleep’

The candid header plays off the popular faux children’s book.

Funny Student Press Headline #20: ‘Going Nuts: Man Arrested for Indecent Exposure at Local Pool’

There is no sugarcoating this wild and wacky story from The Red & Black.

Funny Student Press Headline #19: ‘Stupid Rules are Stupid’

This op-ed header run in The Tacoma Ledger at UW Tacoma doesn’t mince words.

Funny Student Press Headline #18: ‘Why Our Generation Sucks’

This headline earns kudos and a chuckle for getting right to the point in ripping into its readers.

Funny Student Press Headline #17: ‘A Tampon Dispenser From This Decade Please’

Being of the male species– after my eyes widened at the header– I showed this piece to several female colleagues and friends. What were their reactions? Appreciative laughter, followed by anecdotes confirming The New School Free Press op-ed’s basic premise.

Funny Student Press Headline #16: ‘Girl Arrested After Attempted Robbery Attempt’

The big question: When is an attempt at criminal activity so far removed from actual criminal activity that it doesn’t quite count as criminal activity? Or in other words, what the heck is an attempt at a robbery attempt? I’m guessing this Indiana Daily Student news brief header is simply a typo. But maybe it truly does accurately capture the essence of a really, really innovative (yet apparently ultimately unsuccessful) way to steal some stuff.

Funny Student Press Headline #15: ‘The Slut and the Penguin’

To be clear, the words slut and penguin never actually appear in this Pipe Dream anti-cheating column.  But the piece does include a biological breakdown related to what makes human creatures seemingly impervious to fidelity. As Binghamton University’s Jake Lewis shares, “The concept of monogamy isn’t natural.  Men are naturally programmed to spread their genes, and women […]

Funny Student Press Headline #14: ‘Man Eats Pot– Then Arrested’

It’s a classic crime news brief, topped by a headline offering a simple recounting of events.  The Independent Florida Alligator write-up also contains this classic description: “During the search, [the suspect] spit out six small plastic bags of marijuana and a few unpackaged pieces of the drug onto the hood of the officer’s car, weighing […]

Funny Student Press Headlines #13: A ‘Vagina Demonstration’ & Unofficial Sexual Holiday

Below are snippets and screenshots from a pair of student press stories published this week sporting eye-opening headlines, ledes, and quotes. Story #1, in The News Record, University of Cincinnati: The first featured quote says it all.  As one of the Cincy students who helped stage the event shares, “Our demonstration serves to call attention to the vagina […]

Funny Student Press Headlines #12: George Washington & (Ahem) Monkeying Around

A pair of student press headlines stood out and made me chuckle during a recent bout of web browsing.  The first sits atop a column in The Daily Reveille at Louisiana State University.  It speaks to the pre-presidency wartime antics of George Washington, whom the student writer John Ford calls both a bad general and Neo […]

UNC Daily Tar Heel Columnist Discusses ‘Brown Elephant in the Room’

An interesting column in The Daily Tar Heel at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is pushing for greater dialogue about “the brown elephant in the room”: poop.  The call for increased fecal matter chatter is not simply about bettering our physical health, but also getting past “certain assumptions about genders.” DTH columnist […]

Student Press Headlines That Make Me Giggle: Columbia University’s ‘War on Fun’ (Columbia Spectator)

Columbia University is conducting a comprehensive, convoluted “war on fun.”  In a recent op-ed in The Columbia Spectator, Héctor González calls it “a war so pointless you’d think Bush declared it.” According to González, “[I]t’s really easy to get in trouble at this school: Just act your age. If you partake in any teenage tomfoolery, […]