College Media Crazy Stories Alert: LSU Head Staples, BYU Meth Lab & CSUB Library Sex

Staples to the head. Blood-soaked, ahem, self-gratification efforts. A secret student meth lab worthy of Walter White — and its own hashtag. And a bathroom stall modified for anonymous sex acts — in the university library.

College media have captured a slew of especially weird and wacky stories in recent days. Here are my four nominees for the most offbeat.

Crime Blotter: Student found masturbating in pool of blood, man robbed outside apartment

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“The injured person, who was reported to be under the influence, could only tell police his name and birthday. His first comment to the officer was, ‘I’m horny,’ according to the police report.” – The Red & Black, University of Georgia

LSU student requires four staples after being struck with projectile during Alabama game

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“Rather than enjoying the game with the rest of the fans or trying to forget the outcome afterward, mechanical engineering sophomore Dalton Guidry spent his night in a hospital getting his head stapled back together.” – The Daily Reveille, Louisiana State University

Glory to the Hole: Hole in bathroom stall used for anonymous sex

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“The fourth floor of the university library is a quiet floor, meaning that noise is kept to a bare minimum to ensure that students are able to study without distraction. … Inside of the men’s room on the fourth floor is a small hole which connects one stall to the other. On first glance, one could almost mistake it simply for damage to the wall which maintenance has overlooked. However, to the savvier eye, it’s identifiable as a glory hole.” – The Runner, California State University, Bakersfield

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BYU student sought in meth lab incident says ‘the news has it wrong’

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“[Roommates] became suspicious when a fire broke out in Cazier’s bedroom on the morning of Thursday, Nov. 6. The roommates helped put out the fire. Cazier then left to visit a friend in the hospital, according to roommate Nick Zarate. Zarate said he and other roommates then picked the lock on Cazier’s bedroom door and discovered alcohol containers and ‘a lot of sketchy things.'” – The Daily Universe, Brigham Young University

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