Oral Sex & the ‘New Big Bang’: Two Very Popular Student Press Pieces

Amid a fall semester of mega-scoops, award-worthy investigations and rock-steady daily coverage, sex came out on top at The Daily Collegian. Yes, the most-read online story posted by Penn State University’s student paper this past term was a column offering a female student’s take on oral sex — giving and receiving.

Published in early September, “Jane’s Perspective on Oral Sex” was part of a return to sexy content for the DC. At the start of the semester, almost two years after its first sex column attempt fizzled during the Sandusky scandal insanity, the paper unveiled a he said-she said column tag-team focused on all-things sexual and hedonistic. The name for both columns: “Let’s Talk About Sex.” They have run in tandem each Thursday in the Collegian’s entertainment magazine.

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Written by PSU students under the pseudonyms Dick and Jane, the columns have so far addressed everything from slut shaming, masturbation and the female orgasm to STDs, stage-five relationship clingers and the morning after. On Thanksgiving, the pair also addressed what they were thankful for — including Dick who somehow managed to connect his love of many kinds of potatoes to his love of many kinds of female breasts.

In his words, “There are many things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving and each before: Pie, biscuits, family, turkey, football from noon till midnight, the couch after dinner, pie, biscuits, all varieties of potatoes, including but not limited to mashed, sweet and baked. … I’m thankful for boobs. All kinds of them. Big, small, nice, soft, firm. Boobs are wonderful and if you’re a guy and not thankful for boobs on this Thanksgiving, well, I don’t know.”

What the DC team does know is that oral sex from the female perspective is a hit with readers. As Jane exhorts her male readers in the piece:

“You better spend more than five minutes down there. I don’t know if this guy [a past dalliance] actually thinks the female orgasm takes only 60 seconds or if he was just so damn eager for a blowjob that he completely neglected mine, but either way, he’s seriously delusional. Because listen, boys, I’m a complex creature and if you aren’t spending double the amount of time that I do on your orgasm then you’re doing it wrong. It takes time to warm me up, to excite me — now get back down there.”

Now let me introduce you to Winston Shi — a segue I am certain his parents will love. Last week, Shi, a sports columnist for The Stanford Daily, put together a treatise on the dramatic finish of the recent Auburn-Alabama Iron Bowl game. It is apparently so well-written his editor said he “felt like a vandal defiling a work of art as he edited this column.”

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As Shi argues in the piece, headlined “Auburn-Alabama and the new Big Bang”:

“Even as a West Coast man, I cannot tear my eyes away from the Southland drama that exploded into being on Saturday night. It was the single most unlikely play in football unfolding at the absolute perfect moment. It remains wondrous and unknowable, some quantum shiver in nature slowly solidifying in our minds. … They say that at the Big Bang, all that has ever existed was compressed into a single point in space. On Saturday, America converged on a small town in eastern Alabama, and for a moment, Jordan-Hare Stadium held a country inside its walls. As sports fans, this game is part of who we are. We are here to witness the impossible brought to life in pads, a leather ball and freshly mown grass, and on Saturday night, all the vast expanse of college football lay before us — terrifying and compelling, obvious and unknowable, transient and immortal, and all at the same time.”

Yowza. Let’s play a game. Check out these snippets: “exploded into being Saturday night … some quantum shiver in nature … the Big Bang … all that has ever existed was compressed into a single point in space … terrifying and compelling, obvious and unknowable.” On spec, do you think these would be more likely to appear in a sex column or a football column? :)

Regardless, Shi’s quantum shiver has rocketed through the interwebs. It set a single-day pageview record for Daily online content, clocking in at roughly 28,000 on a day last week. By Monday, it had nabbed more than 38,000 views overall, making it “the fourth most-read article in the Daily’s history” (or at least since web analytics accurately measured such things).

As Shi tells The War Eagle Reader:

“I don’t know how it happened. The way our analytics look, the best guess I can give you is that somebody trawling Google or some Auburn fan attending Stanford — and at least one emailed me about it — linked my article on the Auburn board at SECrant. It progressed to the boards at Rivals and Scout, but put together that’s only about 4,000 hits. Then it hit Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit in some order. Facebook brought in 10,000 clicks, Reddit 3,400 clicks, and Twitter 3,200, which I think is a pretty solid representation of the social media pecking order. There’s also another 10,00 hits that are direct hits to the website, and I have no idea where they came from originally.”

Related

Sex is Back in Penn State Student Newspaper: Meet Dick & Jane

College Football 2013 Rivalry Recaps: Student Press Front Pages, Back Pages & Web Pages

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