Best Student Press Column of All Time?: ‘Poop Bandit on the Loose’

They call him the Poop Bandit.  No, I am not making this up.  At Utah Valley University, some guy is regularly smearing his own sh*t on mirrors in the men’s restrooms.  Visitors are forced to look at it– and, through it, themselves.  And the janitorial crew is forced to clean it up.

Jonathan Boldt, editor-in-chief of the UVU Review, has had enough.  In an impassioned column late last month, Boldt issued a stern warning to the phantom fecal miscreant: “I only have one thing to say to the Poop Bandit: Run and hide.  You haven’t been caught, nobody knows who you are and trust me, this is not the kind of publicity you want.  All eyes are now on the lookout for you, and if and when you are caught, the full force and power of the student body will drop the hammer of justice on you without a hint of compassion.  We may not know who you are yet, but when we catch you, just remember you left your DNA all over the crime scene.”

In a May post, I featured a college newspaper piece on a young man known as The Shoe Licker.  (The bio on his– seemingly now inactive– Twitter account: “Lookin in the mirror. Checkin My hair. What Kinda shoes have you got on there? Bitch I’m Jamie, and I like lickin’ shoes.”)  At the time, I thought it might be the strangest student press story focus I would ever come across.  I was wrong.

I have reached out to Boldt for more info on this bandit’s sh*ttiness.  Stay tuned…

Related

Wackiest Student Press Story of the Year: The Shoe Licker

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4 Responses to “Best Student Press Column of All Time?: ‘Poop Bandit on the Loose’”
  1. I bet it’s the editor who wrote the column.

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  1. […] Reimold, a blogger for The Huffington Post and a historian of campus media, reported on College Media Matters that this bandit makes a mess for the university’s custodial staff once a week, noting that […]

  2. […] Reimold, a blogger for The Huffington Post and a historian of campus media, reported on College Media Matters that this bandit makes a mess for the university’s custodial staff once a week, noting that […]

  3. […] Best Student Press Column of All Time?: ‘Poop Bandit on the Loose’ […]



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