You Know You Stink at Digital Journalism When…: Part 2!

Late last month, I premiered “You know you stink at digital journalism when…”  It’s a fun feature that is nothing more than a list of completions to the sentence in the headline of this post.  Idealistically, I saw it as a possible starting point for a future class session.  But mostly, I just wanted to see what I could conjure up.  Back by popular demand, here is part two.


You send your bank account information to the stranger from Barbados who emailed to say you may be in danger.

Your comment on a popular blog’s latest post begins, “Oh man, I agree completely.  One time, I was at a drug-addled party with strippers…”  You then sign the post with your full name, the name of your news outlet, and your email.

You think Microsoft Bing is the name of Chandler’s dad on “Friends.”

You create a Facebook fan page for every one of your stories.

Your résumé lists “Writing for the Internet” under special skills and qualifications.

Someone else owns the domain for your name.

You think Storify is the shriveling, yellowing process that happens to old newsprint.

You respond to your friend’s quip, “There’s an app for that” with a blank stare, an awkward pause, and a gruff “Whatever, I don’t get it.”

When told at a cocktail party that print journalism is dying, you respond in a mock-French accent, “Tsk, no, print is not dying, dear.  It’s evolvingggg.”

You remember people’s phone numbers.

You cite the first web source you find, leading to sentences in your stories such as, “So, when Paul Revere warned the British…”

You shower, shave, slip on a three-piece suit, and walk 10 feet to your home computer to begin your workday as a blogger.

You report and write a news story, post it online, and think “Now that’s what I call a story package motherf*cker.”

You think texting on the toilet is gross.

You think Eduardo Saverin is a Republican presidential candidate.

A majority of the blogs you start feature only a single post, headlined, “Hello World.”

You try to spell Schwarzenegger without Googling it.

Your latest hyperlocal report looks at “sweeping changes across the entire Midwest.”

You call it new media.

Check out Part 1

One Response to “You Know You Stink at Digital Journalism When…: Part 2!”
  1. meredithcochie says:

    But I do “Writing for the Internet” so good. In like, a new media way.